If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
