there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
