There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
