I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
