Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
