if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize