Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize