when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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