: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's shark week go big or go home
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
