We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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