we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
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