imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
