Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
