I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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