Can i not drive my cunt home
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
