Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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