See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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