with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
