I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
