The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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