I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
