atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize