Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
