it hurts more in the daytime
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i love accidental penises.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
