I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
