Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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