I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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