dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
