this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
