I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize