I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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