he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
