she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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