My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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