when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
