When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
