Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My life is pants optional.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
