I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
