come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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