cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
