Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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