U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
