She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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