Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
