Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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