I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
