You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
