So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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