The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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