i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
A bitchslap is in order.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
