And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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