# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
