Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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