when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize