He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
