Me too!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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