drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
