i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
