I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
