no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
