He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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