i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
