shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
