Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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