My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
