I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
