The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He shit in the fireplace
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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