Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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