she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
