I got chris browned last night
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
