my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
