So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
