PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
