my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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