you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
