i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I have already put on my inside pants.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
