Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
