Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
