Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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