i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize