so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
