Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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