super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
