plz talk dirty to me
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
