Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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