On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
