i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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